I actually started compiling these thoughts two years ago, but without an outlet to express them (besides a series of Post-it notes I just found in a desk drawer I'm pretty sure I haven't opened in two years), they've been sitting in my head as I've mulled them over. But tada! I now have this blog, so here it goes.
About two and a half years ago I was in a training class for work and task number one was to get to know our other classmates. Obviously, nothing says "I know you" like completing a trust fall. Well, I don't do trust falls. I don't like them, and it is in part a trust issue. I know that if I was instructed to catch myself I would, but how can I get inside the mind of someone else and guarantee I wouldn't slam to the ground? Needless to say, I was not thrilled with this activity, so I carefully sized up the whole class looking for someone I felt like I just might be able to trust. I'm not saying the other members weren't trustworthy, but I just met them; how would I know?
This trust fall issue got me thinking, though. Was there anyone in my life--family aside--I would like to do a trust fall with? I determined that the answer to that question was somewhere between "probably not" and "not in a million years." I have friends, but that's a lot of power to give up, and for someone who prides himself on having some level of control of his life, it's just not something I'm willing to readily give up for a silly game. Still, I wanted to diagnose my trust issues.
I blame it on the school system I came up through. In my suburban NJ town, there were eight(ish) elementary schools, two(ish) middle schools, and six high schools in a regional district that also had students from seven nearby towns. I was one of seven kids from my elementary school in my middle school, and one of six kids from my middle school in my high school. And then I went to college several hours away. Thus, I was constantly making new friends but don't think I ever got very close to anyone because within a few year, I'd be with a new crowd and have to start the process over again.
It's something I'm working on. Life is not a solo run, and having good friends--great friends you can count on to catch you when you fall--is necessary. I think I'm getting there, but it's a mindset change that's requiring me to give up some of that control that had worked for me so well these past 20-something years.
That training class had a happy ending. After huffing and puffing my way through it, I completed a trust fall, but I was super nervous the entire time. I did NOT, however, do the next task: the human pinball. That was too many people to trust in such a short time. Perhaps in the future I'll be able to just throw my hands up and enjoy whatever comes my way.
In the meantime, at least this didn't happen to me:
About two and a half years ago I was in a training class for work and task number one was to get to know our other classmates. Obviously, nothing says "I know you" like completing a trust fall. Well, I don't do trust falls. I don't like them, and it is in part a trust issue. I know that if I was instructed to catch myself I would, but how can I get inside the mind of someone else and guarantee I wouldn't slam to the ground? Needless to say, I was not thrilled with this activity, so I carefully sized up the whole class looking for someone I felt like I just might be able to trust. I'm not saying the other members weren't trustworthy, but I just met them; how would I know?
This trust fall issue got me thinking, though. Was there anyone in my life--family aside--I would like to do a trust fall with? I determined that the answer to that question was somewhere between "probably not" and "not in a million years." I have friends, but that's a lot of power to give up, and for someone who prides himself on having some level of control of his life, it's just not something I'm willing to readily give up for a silly game. Still, I wanted to diagnose my trust issues.
I blame it on the school system I came up through. In my suburban NJ town, there were eight(ish) elementary schools, two(ish) middle schools, and six high schools in a regional district that also had students from seven nearby towns. I was one of seven kids from my elementary school in my middle school, and one of six kids from my middle school in my high school. And then I went to college several hours away. Thus, I was constantly making new friends but don't think I ever got very close to anyone because within a few year, I'd be with a new crowd and have to start the process over again.
It's something I'm working on. Life is not a solo run, and having good friends--great friends you can count on to catch you when you fall--is necessary. I think I'm getting there, but it's a mindset change that's requiring me to give up some of that control that had worked for me so well these past 20-something years.
That training class had a happy ending. After huffing and puffing my way through it, I completed a trust fall, but I was super nervous the entire time. I did NOT, however, do the next task: the human pinball. That was too many people to trust in such a short time. Perhaps in the future I'll be able to just throw my hands up and enjoy whatever comes my way.
In the meantime, at least this didn't happen to me:
Great read! I love the video--I didn't see that one coming! I was also reminded of the trust fall scene in Mean Girls :)
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