I remember when my brother was first learning to drive, he (on more than one occasion) joked that his driving strategy would be to close his eyes and drive...because everyone else would get out of his way. In an American context, that's ridiculous. In a Sudanese context, I'm thinking these people went to the same driving school as my brother. Driving around Khartoum is at times fine, but there are enough crazy--and truly head-scratching--patterns that it makes you question every rule of driving you've ever known. I went to Quiz Night the other night and we were joking that there should be a category of "Sudanese Driving Rules." Here are a few of the possible questions, based on things I've encountered in my first three and a half weeks in-country:
Question: What's Rule #1 of driving in Khartoum?
Answer: Don't cross a bridge.
Explanation: Khartoum is a peninsula in the Nile, right before the Blue Nile and the White Nile meet. Crossing a bridge means that you're leaving Khartoum for Khartoum North (Blue Nile) or Omdurman (White Nile). Therefore, don't cross a bridge, and you're almost guaranteed to remain in Khartoum.
Question: Does Sudan drive on the left side of the road or the right side of the road?
Answer: Both.
Explanation: I've seen drivers go against traffic even when there's a median. Tuk-tuk drivers (little rickshaws) are the worst culprits, but I've seen plenty of cars doing this. It's usually when there's a median and they don't feel like crossing all the way over to have to make a left again at the next intersection. It's almost as if the driver is thinking: "It's a short distance to go against traffic; what's the worst that could happen?"
Question: From which lane can you make a left turn?
Answer: All of them!
Explanation: The Sudanese have no concept that on a four-lane road, the far right lane shouldn't be making a left turn and the far-left lane shouldn't be making a right turn.
Context: Sudanese traffic lights have counters on them (telling you how much longer until your red light turns green, and how much longer your green light will remain green).
Question: How long should one wait before honking one's horn at the driver for not going on green?
Answer: When the red light still has 5 seconds to go.
Explanation: Pretty self-explanatory. The impatience is mind-boggling.
Question: What goes faster: a tuk-tuk, a mini-bus, or a donkey cart?
Answer: They all go the same speed...that of a tired donkey.
Explanation: I've learned to share the road, but these vehicles all drive so erratically that you have to take whatever chance you get to pass them. Or that will be one VERY long trip down the road.
Question: What are Khartoum's main roads named?
Answer: Whatever the person driving feels like calling them, because it's not like most of them are signed.
Explanation: My favorite example of this is in a neighborhood called Amarat 2, which is on the other side of Khartoum from where I live. The east-west streets are helpfully numbered 1 to 61 from north to south. But this does me no good when I don't know if I'm on Street 7 or Street 47. I cannot confirm this, but I may have gotten a little lost in Amarat before finding that Street 15 is one of the few that DOES have a label (on part of it, at least).
Question: Where's an appropriate place to stop your broken-down car?
Answer: Middle of the road with the doors all open and the hood and trunk popped.
Explanation: Surprisingly, I still haven't seen any cars without any of their doors.
So that's the end of the Sudanese Driving Rules trivia round. Anybody get any of the answers correct?
Keeping with the driving spirit, here's a little Carpool Karaoke with James Corden. So many good ones, but I think Gwen Stefani takes it. Explaining the lyrics to that one part of Sweet Escape nobody knows and the epic We Are the Champions with two special guests makes this a must-watch:
Question: What's Rule #1 of driving in Khartoum?
Answer: Don't cross a bridge.
Explanation: Khartoum is a peninsula in the Nile, right before the Blue Nile and the White Nile meet. Crossing a bridge means that you're leaving Khartoum for Khartoum North (Blue Nile) or Omdurman (White Nile). Therefore, don't cross a bridge, and you're almost guaranteed to remain in Khartoum.
Question: Does Sudan drive on the left side of the road or the right side of the road?
Answer: Both.
Explanation: I've seen drivers go against traffic even when there's a median. Tuk-tuk drivers (little rickshaws) are the worst culprits, but I've seen plenty of cars doing this. It's usually when there's a median and they don't feel like crossing all the way over to have to make a left again at the next intersection. It's almost as if the driver is thinking: "It's a short distance to go against traffic; what's the worst that could happen?"
Question: From which lane can you make a left turn?
Answer: All of them!
Explanation: The Sudanese have no concept that on a four-lane road, the far right lane shouldn't be making a left turn and the far-left lane shouldn't be making a right turn.
Context: Sudanese traffic lights have counters on them (telling you how much longer until your red light turns green, and how much longer your green light will remain green).
Question: How long should one wait before honking one's horn at the driver for not going on green?
Answer: When the red light still has 5 seconds to go.
Explanation: Pretty self-explanatory. The impatience is mind-boggling.
Question: What goes faster: a tuk-tuk, a mini-bus, or a donkey cart?
Answer: They all go the same speed...that of a tired donkey.
Explanation: I've learned to share the road, but these vehicles all drive so erratically that you have to take whatever chance you get to pass them. Or that will be one VERY long trip down the road.
Question: What are Khartoum's main roads named?
Answer: Whatever the person driving feels like calling them, because it's not like most of them are signed.
Explanation: My favorite example of this is in a neighborhood called Amarat 2, which is on the other side of Khartoum from where I live. The east-west streets are helpfully numbered 1 to 61 from north to south. But this does me no good when I don't know if I'm on Street 7 or Street 47. I cannot confirm this, but I may have gotten a little lost in Amarat before finding that Street 15 is one of the few that DOES have a label (on part of it, at least).
Question: Where's an appropriate place to stop your broken-down car?
Answer: Middle of the road with the doors all open and the hood and trunk popped.
Explanation: Surprisingly, I still haven't seen any cars without any of their doors.
So that's the end of the Sudanese Driving Rules trivia round. Anybody get any of the answers correct?
Keeping with the driving spirit, here's a little Carpool Karaoke with James Corden. So many good ones, but I think Gwen Stefani takes it. Explaining the lyrics to that one part of Sweet Escape nobody knows and the epic We Are the Champions with two special guests makes this a must-watch:
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