We'll Be Moving Momentarily

And with that, half the people in the DC area cringed, then sighed, then gave up on getting to work on time. It's amazing how one simple phrase--seemingly innocuous to the outside ear--can evoke so many emotions from people in a metropolitan area of several million. People from Ashburn and Springfield to Laurel and Frederick have strong feelings about the word "momentarily," all thanks to the inability of the Washington Metropolitan Area Transit Authority (WMATA) to accurately know what the word means.

In WMATAland, momentarily ranges from a low of a few seconds to as many as 15 minutes. I'm a transportation junkie and some of the blogs on transportation and smart growth in the area have rightly pointed out that people would prefer to hear nothing than hear this phrase which should mean so much but really means so little. With no communication, I don't expect my train to move and therefore get excited every time it does. Yes, a problem, but at least setting the bar low. Even though I know "momentarily" has such a wide range here, I always believe this time will be a correct application of the word and that my train will, in fact, be moving momentarily.

I started conceptualizing this post on Sunday as a post about catchphrases and things we say so much that we have warped the meanings of those words. I have a lot of them and am trying to be better about saying words I truly mean. But then my Monday morning commute rolled around, and in true WMATA fashion, there were unannounced delays and lots of momentarilies. So a post about catchphrases will have to wait (maybe forever...I intend to come back to topics but then forget about it) and instead, y'all get a lovely post about WMATA. And the fact that we are not, contrary to what the train conductor says, moving momentarily as we hold each stop for several minutes and in between stops for several more.

No matter how bad the commute may be, my day is always brightened when I get off the Metro and my favorite street musician--Emma G--is performing. She's a good singer, has a positive attitude, and it's hard walking away from Metro steamed after hearing her. Sadly, she wasn't outside Metro on Monday. :(

Hiding Your Crazy

We all have a little crazy inside of us, and most of us are socially aware enough to know how to tone it down. But sometimes the crazy just shines through anyway, either because you're comfortable with the other people around or because it's so strong that no amount of shielding can keep it all in. Especially in dating, I try to hide things that might be seen as nutty--such as talk of zombie apocalypses and wormholes, or some of my excessively OCD qualities--until I feel confident that the girl won't roll her eyes and then ghost me. But over the past few years, there were three incidents that make me think that others don't have the same filter to hide their crazy.

First there was R, who on date 1 told me I held hands wrong. Apparently when a couple holds hands, the girl's thumb should end up on top or else the man is perpetuating the United States' misogynistic culture by subjugating women to being under men. No matter that sometimes hands just fit better together one way over another; for instance, when I clasp my hands, my left thumb ends up over my right one. Against my better judgment, there was a date 2 where I learned that I was discriminatory against people who were left-handed. The easiest way to see that was that when I cross my arms my right hand shows while my left hand is tucked under my right arm. Needless to say, there was no date 3. I felt that someone who find faults in such inane things as holding hands and crossing arms was trending towards what I deem crazy and would find endless faults in everything else in my life.

Then there was C, who is a huge fan of soccer. Except not playing the sport...or watching it. To play the sport would require athletic ability, and being on an open field opens one up to being hit by lightning (even on a clear day) or being attacked by birds that might be flying overhead (all her words, not mine). When I asked if she liked to watch the sport, she said that 45 minutes straight with little action and (on TV) no commercials made it boring. So I'm still not quite sure what part of soccer she is a fan of, but it doesn't amount to playing the sport or watching it.

Finally there was J, whose side job is as a balloon animal maker for children's parties. During the middle of the date, to appease a rather raucous child sitting at the table next to us, she reached into her bag and took out an air pump and some balloons, and proceeded to make the child a turtle. This attracted pretty much every other child in the restaurant, and so she continued to make balloon animals and other things (including a sword and a soccer ball) until she was out of balloons. She assured me later that she doesn't usually do this, but she does carry around the balloons and the pump at all times, so it wasn't the most convincing comment.

I am sure there are people out there for R, C, and J who don't find those things crazy, but I am none of those people. I felt like I hid some of my crazy on the dates, but they just let it all out. What scared me was the idea that they might have thought they were hiding their crazy, meaning there would only be more to come. That wasn't something I wanted to stick around for.

Something not crazy? My love of the song below: What Ifs by Kane Brown, featuring Lauren Alaina. Enjoy!